Wednesday, 13 February 2013


The mushiest holiday of the year has arrived...Valentines Day! It's amazing how many of you get sucked into this crap fest, on what other day of the year would you think it OK to gift someone you barely know with a card containing your innermost (and often disgusting) feelings along with a vomit-inducing teddy bear hugging a giant heart. Now before you think I'm being all bitter because I'm alone on Valentines Day, I actually do have a boyfriend, we are both just about as romantic as a 2 by 4.

But anyway, getting into the spirit of things I thought I would give the fella's out there a few handy tips for that first Valentines Date, drawing on my own disastrous date history and plain old common sense for inspiration.

  • DON'T (and I really mean don't) bring a friend with you for moral support. I turned up to a first date once to find his friend with him and needless to say on a trip to the bathroom I 'took ill' and left without saying anything. Harsh, but fair, how else will they learn.
  • DON'T wear fake drainpipe jeans and fake geek glasses, thinking it's cool. A girl does not want to be able to count the change in your pocket through your pants, because if she can count the change, what else do you think she can's cold in February.
So True..

  • DO impress your date with a single red rose, but do not overdo, showing up with a life size teddy bear and Ann Summers voucher. It looks desperate, creepy and a little bit rapey. A first date one bought me chocolates, flowers and champagne...I don't even drink. My mum glugged the champers while I lost his number.
  • DO remember the grooming - a first date is not the time to reveal that you have a ruthless monobrow that is trying to take over your face, tame it into two separate entities for the night. And I can see you picking up that fake tan, just put it down and back away. Finally, if it isn't already obvious, deodorant is not a substitute for a shower. 
 And remember her eyes are about 10 inches up from where your probably starring....slow your roll romeo!

Happy Valentines Day!



  1. This made me crack xx

  2. Haha, I love it! You'd think that stuff would be obvious to men, but it's really not always! xx

  3. Haha, great tips! That second picture is a doozy..yikes!

  4. Hahaha what a funny post! Boys should definitely take note of this. x


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