ULTIMATE AND REALISTIC - VALENTINES SPECIAL

You can't get moved in the shops without being bombarded with romantic paraphernalia - tat that people wouldn't usually give a second look are bought by the bucket load, in the hope of impressing that special someone. Anyone who knows me, will be aware that I don't buy into that romantic nonsense - I can often be heard making a retching sound when there is anything slightly soppy on TV.

Don't get me wrong, I will send the boyfriend nice text messages, but him little treats and give him a nice head scratch on the sofa. I certainly don't wait until February the 14th to do something nice, I try to do it all year round. Our idea of romance is telling each other 'I love you' in a Scooby Doo voice, it makes me laugh and it says so much about our relationship - we spend so much time together and it is effortless and fun, but there is something deeper there, no matter how hard we try to hide it under jokes.

So for this Valentine's Day, as we are both self-employed, we are going to treat ourselves to the day off and enjoy a long weekend enjoying each others company. I might even get the sewing machine out and make myself something as a little gift to myself.

Still if I did like to celebrate Valentine's Day, I know I would want to get all dressed up, but not in anything red, girly or featuring the world's most disgusting print...the heart print! So here is an ultimate and realistic Valentine's Day look for the not to girly girl...

Ultimate:  Deco City Tunic, Clover Canyon - £359; Pigalle Spikes 100 Leather Pumps, Christian Louboutin - £845; Loubiposh Spiked Patent Leather Clutch, Christian Louboutin - £595; Leather Blazer, Band of Outsiders - £1,175.
Total: £2,974

Realistic:  Black Abstract Print Shift Dress, River Island - £50; Mint Green Patent Platform Courts, New Look - £22.99; Coast Envelope Clutch, Debenhams - £35; Single Breast Jacket, H&M - £24.99.
Total: £132.98

I can't deny that I am a bit of a fan of Christian Louboutin and that the Band of Outsiders leather blazer does not rock my world, but how good a match is the River Island dress? They have some amazing mirror and kaleidoscope prints in at the minute that will be so on trend for spring. I am loving tunic shapes right now too, specially with the t-shirt sleeve...drool!

What is currently on your 'money is no object' list?

Gems x

SOMETHING FOR THE BOYS - FIRST DATE TIPS

The mushiest holiday of the year has arrived...Valentines Day! It's amazing how many of you get sucked into this crap fest, on what other day of the year would you think it OK to gift someone you barely know with a card containing your innermost (and often disgusting) feelings along with a vomit-inducing teddy bear hugging a giant heart. Now before you think I'm being all bitter because I'm alone on Valentines Day, I actually do have a boyfriend, we are both just about as romantic as a 2 by 4.

But anyway, getting into the spirit of things I thought I would give the fella's out there a few handy tips for that first Valentines Date, drawing on my own disastrous date history and plain old common sense for inspiration.

• DON'T (and I really mean don't) bring a friend with you for moral support. I turned up to a first date once to find his friend with him and needless to say on a trip to the bathroom I 'took ill' and left without saying anything. Harsh, but fair, how else will they learn.
• DON'T wear fake drainpipe jeans and fake geek glasses, thinking it's cool. A girl does not want to be able to count the change in your pocket through your pants, because if she can count the change, what else do you think she can see...it's cold in February.

So True..

• DO impress your date with a single red rose, but do not overdo, showing up with a life size teddy bear and Ann Summers voucher. It looks desperate, creepy and a little bit rapey. A first date one bought me chocolates, flowers and champagne...I don't even drink. My mum glugged the champers while I lost his number.
• DO remember the grooming - a first date is not the time to reveal that you have a ruthless monobrow that is trying to take over your face, tame it into two separate entities for the night. And I can see you picking up that fake tan, just put it down and back away. Finally, if it isn't already obvious, deodorant is not a substitute for a shower. 

Nutella?

 And remember her eyes are about 10 inches up from where your probably starring....slow your roll romeo!

Happy Valentines Day!

Gems